Building a Better Me – Honesty (Part I)

Sermon Title: Becoming a Better Me – The Value of Honesty

Good News Statement: God created us with honesty

Summary: An application of the ninth commandment about lying, demonstrating the value of honesty in honoring God, healing relationships, and helping ourselves gain personal credibility.

Preached: Sunday, September 8^th, 2024, at Dogwood Prairie and Seed Chapel UMC

Pastor Daniel G. Skelton, M.Div.

 

Scripture (NRSV): Exodus 20:16, Today’s scripture reading comes to us from Mount Sinai, upon which Moses received the Ten Commandments. The Ninth Commandment invites us to remove ourselves from “bearing false witness” against our neighbor. We must be honest about what we have and need. Let’s read Exodus, Chapter Twenty, Verse Seventeen. May the hearing and reading of this scripture add understanding and meaning to your life.

The Ten Commandments

20 Then God spoke all these words, ² “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; ³ you shall have no other gods before me.

⁴ “You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above or that is on the earth beneath or that is in the water under the earth. ⁵ You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me ⁶ but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.

⁷ “You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.

⁸ “Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. ⁹ Six days you shall labor and do all your work. ¹⁰ But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. ¹¹ For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and consecrated it.

¹² “Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

¹³ “You shall not murder.

¹⁴ “You shall not commit adultery.

¹⁵ “You shall not steal.

¹⁶ “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

¹⁷ “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female slave, ox, donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

 

The Word of God, for the People of God; And all God’s People said, “Thanks Be To God.”

 

Introduction:

Before “graduating” from the third grade, my classmates and I were given a book sponsored by several businesses in the area: Central Bank, State Farm Insurance, Vandemore Funeral Home, Village Maytag, Lifetime Eyecare, McClimon Pharmacy, Chicago Street Decorating Center, and Hanford Insurance Agency. The book is titled, Eight Keys to a Better Me: Character Development for Young People, written by William J. Briggs and illustrated by Lynne Marie Davis.

The premise of the book focuses on eight key practices by which could help mold us and shape us into better versions of ourselves. These keys are honesty, respect, patriotism, kindness, courage, responsibility, feelings, and self-worth; and all of these keys were explained by highlighting tasks that students encounter or talk about during the school year and by which they did (or tried to do) on a regular basis whether at school or at home. In a way, the booked summed up what we learned in kindergarten through third grade; but also was a source that was reminding us that we must keep practicing these key traits as we progress through school and life if we want to continually create a better version of ourselves.

Now to be honest, as a soon to be fourth grader, I really had no idea what it meant to become a “better me.” I thought I was a good kid: I rarely got in trouble, I listened to my teachers, did what I was told, and helped out when I could. If I knew getting a book at the end of third grade was our sign of achievement, of success, I would have suggested other reading material that was more interesting. However, over the years this book has remained on my bookshelf: never packed away in box or shoved behind other books. It may have accumulated some dust and been placed under Bibles and renowned works by theologians, but it was still visible. In third grade, this book was just a book; but today, this simple read has a powerful message that I believe we all need to think about. And what we need to think about is “How do I become a ‘better me’?” How do I become a “better me” for me? How do I become a “better me” for those in my life? How do I become a “better me” for Jesus Christ and his church?

Over the next few weeks—now until October 20^th—we are going to explore five of the eight keys that William J. Briggs wrote about. Not only are we going to read about five of those eight keys, but we are going to relate them to scripture and see how a book written for children actually highlights marks of a true disciple in, for, and of Jesus Christ. We are going to talk about honesty, respect, courage, responsibility, and self-worth.

I understand that many of you are probably saying to yourself, “I’m the best version of me I can be.” And to that I say, “I’m proud of you!” However, Jesus didn’t call people to follow him that were the best versions of themselves: he called upon people who knew there was a better version of themselves found in the footsteps of Jesus. Jesus knows we have room to improve, to become a better version of ourselves, but do you believe that? Are you willing to pursue whatever is needed to help you say, “I am a better me today than I was yesterday”? Today, we begin by looking at honesty through the lens of one of the Ten Commandments.

 

Body:

Lying has become so prevalent in our society that we hardly think about it anymore. A few years ago, a massive study involving nearly 70,000 U.S. college and high school students found that 70% had admitted to cheating. That was a 14% increase from 1993 and a 44% increase since 1963. The Duke University report also indicated that Internet plagiarism had quadrupled in the previous six years. A separate poll of 25,000 high schoolers found that nearly half agreed with the statement, “A person has to lie or cheat sometimes in order to succeed.”[1] Have any of you ever heard that saying before?

Unfortunately, this sentiment is not only limited to the young. Adults too have similar attitudes. According to a Reader’s Digest survey of 2,624 readers, 13% had shifted blame to a co-worker for something they did; 18% had misstated facts on a resume/job application; and 32% had lied to their spouse about the cost of a recent purchase. Furthermore, 63% had called in sick at work when not sick. The survey also stated that “71% had lied to friends or family members about their appearance, to avoid hurting their feelings.”[2] And I wonder: how many lied when taking that survey? Considering these statistics, I wonder if it is accurate to say that our nation is composed of liars. Everybody is doing it, but does it really matter? How can we be honest with ourselves when the act of lying is already us? If we want to prove these statistics wrong, then we must begin to demonstrate and live by the act of honesty.

 

Movement One: Application of the Ninth Commandment…

If you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Exodus 20. Exodus 20 is where you can find a list of the Ten Commandments—you can also find them in Deuteronomy 5. Specifically, though, Exodus 20 is where God shows us what really matters and what Jesus came to fulfill: Matthew 5:17 asserts, “Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill.”

You see, at this point in the story of the exodus, the once enslaved Israelites as well as others who are traveling with them—often identified as aliens or strangers and in some biblical translations “neighbors”—are being told by Moses with the help of God of what it is going to take to create a new nation in the Promised Land. This new nation is being established on Mt. Sinai, where God establishes the principles for a strong, healthy, and honest society. We recognize these principles as The Ten Commandments, but they are foundational principles for all healthy relationships. And today, we examine the Ninth Commandment: “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” or as the New International Version puts it, “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16).

The picture here is of a court of law where a witness is called upon to testify about what he saw a neighbor do. In that case, the witness is called upon to refrain from any groundless or false accusations: simply put, the witness must not make any statements that are not based on fact—the witness must not lie. The integrity of our court system depends on witnesses who in fact “tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” But God doesn’t want us to limit our honesty to the courtroom. Whether we’re under oath or not, God expects us to always “speak truthfully” with one another. The Apostle Paul tried to help the people of Ephesus understand this principle when he wrote, “So then, putting away falsehood, let each of you speak the truth with your neighbor, for we are members of one another” (Ephesians 4:25).

Now, we don’t have to be mean or harsh with the truth, but “speaking the truth in love” (verse 15) will help our church “grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.” In other words, when we are honest with each other, our church grows up to become strong and healthy, reflecting the faithfulness and integrity of Christ. Honesty is important! Truth really does matter in all our relationships! Because first of all, honesty honors Christ. Being truthful makes our Jesus look good before a watching world. And honesty allows us to be who God needs and those in our life need us to be. When we, as followers of Christ, are honest in all our dealings, it reflects well on Christ and all of his followers. But when we are dishonest, we bring dishonor to Christ and his church.

Dear friends, the Ninth Commandment is not something we just read: it should be something that we strive to do. The way we do business, or the way we interact with people in this community, reflects positively or negatively on Christ and his church. We can’t be a “good Christian” on Sunday, and be dishonest in our dealings with people Monday through Friday. It just doesn’t work. Our Christianity has to follow us throughout the week; otherwise it is no Christianity at all, and it discredits everything we’re trying to do here. It discredits our message that Jesus Christ is worth living for. It discredits the idea of not bearing a false witness against our neighbor.

Golfer Chelsee Richard, from Brandon, Florida, lost her chance to win the 2004 state championship—by being honest. In the qualifier for the state finals, Chelsee hit her tee shot on the second hole into the rough. Without knowing it, she played another golfer’s ball out of the rough and finished the hole. On the third hole, she realized what she had done. The rule is that a golfer must declare the wrong ball penalty before putting on the hole where the infraction occurred, or be disqualified.

Drawing strength from her favorite Bible verse, Philippians 4:13—“I can do all things through him who strengthens me”—Chelsee reported her error, which ended her dream of going to state. She later said: “With my faith and with God, being honest was the most important thing to me, and that’s what is going to advance on throughout my life, being honest and making the right choices.”[3]

That young lady not only did herself a favor in the long run, but her honesty spoke very well of her Christian faith and the Lord she serves. Honesty is important. The truth really does matter, because it honors Christ. It makes our Christianity attractive before a watching world and it helps us understand that God initiated the Ten Commandments to help us not only draw nearer to Jesus but to help us understand that we are given opportunities every day to become better today than what we were yesterday. Are you allowing your honesty to guide your faith so that you do not bear false witness against your neighbor?

 

Movement Two: Honesty Heals Broken Relationships…

Furthermore, honesty heals broken relationships. Being truthful strengthens our connections: it brings people together, rather than tears them apart. The Ninth Commandment is not about creating disunity and separation; as a matter of fact, it is about creating unity and understanding as well has re-establishing former and current relationships with all of God’s people.

We see this played out in Ephesians 4:3 which asserts, the unity of the Spirit comes from “the bond of peace.” Ephesians chapter four is about bringing people together, giving us practical ways to experience the unity we enjoy in Christ. But that only happens, according to verse 25, when we “put off falsehood and speak truthfully” to one another. That’s because dishonesty destroys unity. It ruins relationships.

Ed Rowell, of Monument, Colorado, talks about the time when he was in high school. He had a friend named Christina, who was very gullible. He and his classmates loved telling her ridiculous things, because they knew she would always believe them. Once, Ed told Christina that he was going to have surgery. When she asked what kind, he told her they were removing his liver. She asked for details about the surgery, which Ed provided in great detail. When their conversation ended, he figured the first person she told about his condition would tell her that no one can live without a liver.

But when Ed came home that night, his mother was furious. She had gone to their small town’s general store to get some groceries, and there on the counter sat a gallon jar with Ed’s picture on it. A sign taped to its side said, “Donations for Eddie Rowell’s Surgery.” His mom was, in her words, “embarrassed to death,” and wanted to know where that story had started. So Ed told her. Although Ed was punished for his actions, Ed still thought it was funny, but his smile faded when his mom made him call Christina.

As they talked on the phone, Christina thought it was even less funny than Ed’s mother. She didn’t consider it a joke; she considered it a lie. Out of compassion, she’d gone all around town telling people about his surgery, and now she was hurt, angry, and embarrassed. She started crying and hung up. Ed started thinking that maybe it wasn’t so funny after all. Things were never the same after that. Ed thought a lot about apologizing to Christina, but could never quite bring himself to do it. Just two years after they graduated from high school, Christina was killed in a car wreck. Ed wished a hundred times since that horrendous event that he would have told her he was sorry he lied to her. He would have loved to have heard her say, “You’re forgiven.”[4] Even as a joke, Ed’s lie ruined his friendship with Christina. His refusal to admit that he was wrong kept them apart until it was too late.[5] Has not being honesty kept you from establishing a strong relationship with someone in your life? Has dishonesty put a wedge between you and someone else?

My friends, if a lie has kept you and someone else apart, don’t perpetuate the lie by refusing to admit what you did. Instead, start telling the truth. “Confess your sins to each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16) is what scripture tells us. In other words, when we are honest with each other, when we honestly admit our sins to each other, then everyone in the relationship experiences healing. Everyone experiences a sense of well-being, and the relationship itself is healed. Proverbs 28:13 says, “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Dishonesty destroys unity, but honesty preserves unity in a bond of peace. Telling the truth brings people together, instead of tearing them apart. It’s amazing what the truth will do to our relationships! Now, I can’t guarantee that the results will be dramatic and quick. But I can guarantee that the truth will do more to heal our relationships than any lie ever will.

If you want to be a better you, then be truthful and honest with those in your life before it is too late. God gave the Ninth Commandment to the people at the beginning of their formation rather than at the end because He witnessed what needed mending today and understood that what begins today has a chance to be there tomorrow. To be a better you, be honest with God and be honest with those in your life.

 

Movement Three: Honesty Helps Each of Us Personally…

Honesty is important. The truth really does matter, because it honors Christ, it heals relationships, and it also helps each of us personally: being truthful gives us personal credibility. Deuteronomy 19:16-19 reminds us, “If a malicious witness comes forward to accuse someone of wrongdoing, then both parties to the dispute shall appear before the Lord, before the priests and the judges who are in office in those days, and the judges shall make a thorough inquiry. If the witness is a false witness, having testified falsely against another, then you shall do to the false witness just as the false witness had meant to do to the other. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.”

Flywheel is a film about Jay, a Christian used-car salesman who has been grossly overcharging his customers. In one scene, he manipulates the sale of a car to his pastor. The pastor is looking at a Camry, which the dealership has listed in its files at $6,500. He wants to buy the car for his daughter, Lindsay. So Jay tells his pastor, “I’ve got $8,500 in this car. If you want, I’ll give it to you for $9,000.”

Thinking it over, the Reverend decides to take it for a test drive. A later scene shows Jay’s pastor signing on the dotted line, buying the Camry for $9,000. The pastor says to Jay, “Thanks. You’ve treated me so well today. I would like to do something for you. I’d like to pray and ask God to bless you and your business.” Then he puts his hand on Jay’s shoulder, and says, “Lord, today I come before you and thank you for this day. I thank you for Jay and his business. I thank you for the car for Lindsay, and I ask that you protect her and give her grace as she drives this car. And Lord, I ask that you treat Jay just like he treated me today in this deal. In your name I pray, Lord, Amen.”[6]

How would we like it if God treated us the same way we have treated others? But that’s a principle of life: We reap what we sow. If we sow dishonesty, we reap being discredited; we reap personal destruction. If we are consistently late on our payments, if we don’t follow through on our commitments, if we lie in these and other ways, then people learn not to trust us, and they stop doing business with us. Dishonesty discredits us, but honesty gives us real credibility. It really does help us in the long-run to become better versions of ourselves.

At the age of 24, Abraham Lincoln earned an annual income of $55.70 as postmaster at the post office in New Salem, Illinois. In 1836, the post office closed, and several years passed before an agent from Washington D.C. came to settle accounts. In the meantime, Lincoln was struggling as a young lawyer to make ends meet. When the agent finally arrived, he reviewed the books and informed Mr. Lincoln that the closed post office owed the U.S. government $17. Lincoln crossed the open room, opened an old trunk and took out a yellowed cotton rag bound with a string. Untying the cloth he spread out the seventeen dollars. He had been holding it for all those years. “I never use any man’s money but my own,” he said.

Now, I suppose Mr. Lincoln could have lied about the money and gotten away with it, but that’s not the kind of man he was. Long before he entered the White House, 24 years to be exact, the former rail splitter was showing the character that earned him the title of “Honest Abe.”[7] It was that kind of character that caused him to be remembered as one of our country’s greatest presidents. Because it was that kind of character that helped him bring together a nation that was deeply divided during the years of the civil war. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. It honors Christ. It heals relationships. And in the long run, it helps us gain real credibility.

Church, are we a group of people that can be described by our honesty, by our loyalty to each other, and to the mission of Jesus Christ? If you want to be known as an honest person, then you must seek to practice honesty. If you want to be a better you, then begin by being honest with yourself. What needs to change? Who needs forgiveness? Who have you been ignoring? Who simply needs to know that you are there for them? What lie needs mending? Honesty is important to becoming a follower of Jesus Christ. Honesty really does matter because it can change you, change others, and change this world.

 

Conclusion:

The book that I was given in third grade described honesty this way: “Honesty is being truthful to myself and to others. Being honest helps others trust me.” Honesty is about doing, about living like Christ, and about being the best version of yourself that you can be. If you want to be a better you, then pray to God that honesty will flood your heart and guide your actions.

The Ninth Commandment—“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16)—is not just something that was written on stone tablets thousands of years ago by the finger of God (Exodus 30), or said by Moses to a group of people wandering the wilderness, or even something that we just read today: it is a means of life that helps you become a better you for you, for those in your life, and for Christ. It is a means of life that existed back then, exists today, and will hopefully exist tomorrow. It is a means of life that can change everything. Church, I wonder what the world would look like it if honesty is what we practiced every day. Let honesty guide the decisions of this church and may it be something that transforms us and makes us better today than what we were yesterday.

Honesty is important. The truth really does matter because it honors Christ, it heals relationships, and it also helps each of us personally: being honest gets us closer to living like Jesus.

Let it be so…

 

Closing Prayer:

Dear God, we admit that lies have come out of our mouth, that dishonesty has been our actions, and that the truth at times as taken a back seat. But today, Lord, we seek to live a life of honesty: a life that doesn’t bear false witness against our neighbors. Help us today to become better versions of ourselves by starting with being honest.  In your mighty name we pray, Amen.

 

Benediction:

This week, I challenge you to be more honest with yourself and with those around you. Allow your honesty to heal relationships, help you personally, and get you closer to doing what Jesus would do.

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; and May the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace (Numbers 6:24-26). In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, go forth finding ways to become a “better you.” And all God’s people said, Amen. Amen. Amen.

 

 

[1]“Culture Clips,” Plugged In, June 2006, p. 2

[2] “How Honest Are You?” Reader’s Digest, Jan 2004; www.Preaching Today.com

[3] www.OfftheFringes. com newsletter, November, 2004; www.PreachingToday.com

[4] Ed Rowell, Monument, Colorado; www.PreachingToday.com

[5] When the father of the great Emmanuel Kant was an old man, he made a dangerous trip through the forests of Poland to his native country of Silesia. On the way, he met up with some robbers who demanded all his valuables. At the end of the ordeal, they asked him, “Have you given us all?” and they let him go only when he answered, “All.”

Then, when Mr. Kant was safely out of their sight, his hand touched something hard in the hem of his robe. It was his gold, sewn there for safety, which he quite forgot in all his fear and confusion. At once, he hurried back to find the robbers, and having found them, he said meekly, “I have told you what was not true; it was unintentional. I as too terrified to think. Here, take the gold in my robes.” Then to the old man’s astonishment, nobody offered to take his gold. After a moment, one robber went and brought back his purse. Another robber restored his book of prayer, while still another led his horse to him and helped him to mount. They then all asked for his blessing and watched him slowly ride away. That day, truth triumphed over thievery (Darren McCormick, www.SermonCentral.com).

[6] Flywheel, Sherwood Pictures, 2003, directed and written by Alex Kendrick; www.PreacingToday.com

[7] Rick Atchley, Sinai Summit, as cited by Darren McCormick on www.SermonCentral.com