The Identity of a Father: The Lord’s Prayer

Sermon Title: Father’s Day: The Makings of a Father

Good News Statement: The Father Abides in Us

Preached: Sunday, June 18, 2023, at Dogwood Prairie and Seed Chapel UMC

Pastor Daniel G. Skelton, M.Div.

 

Scripture (NRSV): Matthew 6:5-14  – Today’s scripture reading comes from the Gospel of Matthew chapter six verses five thru fourteen. In these sacred words of Jesus Christ, we are not only taught the sacred words that he taught his disciples to pray, but we are taught that a Father shows priority for the children, and provides, protects, and pardons them at all costs.

 

Concerning Prayer

⁵ “And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. ⁶ But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

⁷ “When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. ⁸ Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

⁹ “Pray, then, in this way:

Our Father in heaven,
may your name be revered as holy.
¹⁰     May your kingdom come.
May your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹     Give us today our daily bread.
¹²     And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³     And do not bring us to the time of trial,
but rescue us from the evil one.

¹⁴ “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, ¹⁵ but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

This is the Word of God for the People of God; And all God’s people said, “Thanks be to God.”

 

Introduction:

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we’ll talk about it.”

After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father, if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father’s study where his father said, “Son, I’ve been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your bible diligently, but you didn’t get your hair cut.”

The young man waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair!” to which his father replied, “Yes, you’re right, and they also WALKED everywhere they went!”

What is a father? Who is a father? What is a father supposed to do or to say or to be like or even imitate? When I say the word “father,” what comes to mind? Do you think about your father’s ability to tell stories, the lessons and teachings he has passed down to you, the wisdom that he has shared with you, or the instructions that he gifted you as you began to grow and mature and possibly wanting to drive the car? Do you think about the adventures he has taken you on—some good and some scary? Do you think about his sacrificial love that he showed as he coached you on the field or from the bleachers or in the backyard?

When I say the word “father,” what comes to mind? Do you think about the first tractor ride he took you on after harvest was complete? Do you think about those late summer evenings when he sat next to you and said, “Remember, green tractors are good because they mean everything is good to go and red tractors are bad because they mean stop something needs to be fixed?” Do you think about that moment when he looked you dead in the eyes and said, “Don’t tell your mother?” or that moment when he said, “Your mom doesn’t need to know.”

When I say the word, “father,” what do you think about? Do you think about the long hours that he was willing to give you to help you complete a project? Do you think about the first time he reached out his hand to shake your hand? Do you think about the quick hugs and the silent “I love you” as you get ready to part ways? Do you think about the last photo you took with him? Do you think about the tools that he put in your toolbox to help you build your life? Do you think about the tears that he wiped from your face? Or do you think about his warm and cheerful presence? When I say the word, “father,” what comes to mind?

To this day, I can remember when my oldest brother came through the front door of my parents’ house. He had a perplexed and worried look upon his face: his brow was even furled. Both my parents were in the kitchen: my mom was preparing supper and my dad was doing the dishes, doing whatever he could to stay out of mom’s way. My brother looked at them and said, “I’m not ready to be a dad. I have no idea what to do.” My mom, being my mom, offered a profound and well-thought out response; but my dad, a man of few words, looked at my brother and said, “Don’t worry about it. I am still learning. However, I am going to be here for you whenever you need help. You will be a great dad.”

On this Father’s Day, I think about the words of my father to my brother and catch myself reflecting on the sacred words that Jesus taught his disciples to pray in what we call today the Lord’s Prayer. Embedded in those words, a father is given instructions, guidelines, to be a great dad. Contained in the Lord’s Prayer a father is taught to give priority for their children, and provide, protect, and pardon them as they build and create their own life. That’s why I want us to look again at the prayer that Jesus gave us in Matthew 6:9-13. In this prayer we have a model of fatherhood. In this prayer we’re told what a father is to do. In this prayer, then, we’re told what is reasonable for a child to expect from his, her, or their father. We can sum up what this passage teaches us about fatherhood in four words: priority, provision, pardon, and protection—words that lead to a great dad.

Body:

In search of the perfect Father’s Day scripture, the Bible provides us with numerous scripture references that help us to understand the priority, provision, pardon, and protection of any father or father-like figure in our life. For example, both Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16 tell us to “honor our father.” Jeremiah 17:7 states, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is in the LORD.” Psalm 103:13 asserts, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him….” King Solomon, amongst his 3,000 proverbs, offers wisdom regarding fathers: “Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers” (Proverbs 17:6); “The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him” (Proverbs 20:7); and “The father of a righteous son will rejoice greatly, and one who fathers a wise son will delight in him” (Proverbs 23:24). After promising a son to Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 18, the LORD said, “For I have chosen him [Abraham] that he may charge his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice…” (Genesis 18:19). Lastly, the Apostle Paul notes when writing to the people of Ephesus in 60 AD, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

It is quite evident that the LORD has specific plans, specific instructions and guidelines, for the fathers and father-like figures in our life. A father is be honored. A father is one who trusts and hopes in the LORD. A father demonstrates and offers compassion to those in his care. A father is glorified and is the crown of future generations. A father charges those in his care to “keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness—doing what is right and good—and administering justice by doing no harm. A father is to raise current and future generations with discipline and instruction pertaining to the commandments and statutes of the LORD. A father is a gift given to us by our Father in Heaven. Embedded in these characteristics is a sacred vow; and this sacred vow is seen in the words that Jesus, with compassion, hope, trust, and instruction, taught his disciples to pray. From this prayer we learn that a father is charged with the following duties and obligations: priority, provision, pardon, and protection.

First: A father’s priority is God. In Matthew 6:9, Jesus starts his prayer with these familiar words: “Our Father, who is in heaven, hallowed be your name.” Fathers, I’m not saying that you should expect your children to keep your name hallowed—made holy, consecrated, and greatly revered! Instead, this verse reflects the most basic priority you have as a father: for the name of God to be hallowed in your life. When we say “hallowed be your name,” we’re asking that God be set apart as holy in our lives. It means we don’t try to whittle Him down to size—to put Him in a box, to place Him on a cluttered shelf, or to put Him in a random drawer in the garage. It means that we acknowledge that there is no one else like Him. It means we know that He is above all other things. He alone is glorious, infinite, eternal, righteous, pure, and just. John notes in his Gospel, “God is spirit” (John 4:24). Writing in his epistle, John pens that “God is love” (1 John 4:8, 16). The Psalmist wrote, “Taste and see that the LORD is good” (Psalm 34:8). The Psalmist again notes that the LORD is forgiving and good, abounding in love to all (Psalm 86:5). A father is to be “hallowed” because of what he is willing to do for his family: to go above and beyond to take care of them and to make them a priority. A father’s name is hallowed because of the holiness and righteousness in his heart. A father is spirit-filled and spirit-led; is love; is good; is forgiving; and above all is holy.

Several years ago, a survey was published asking this question to kids aged 10-18: “What is most important to your parents?” The survey suggested the following: grades were most important. Some said money or work or “how I do in sports.” Few of them said God was the most important thing in their parents’ lives—and most of these kids were in Christian homes! Fathers, what would your kids say is most important to you—not what you would say, but what they would say? Is the name of God the most hallowed thing in your life? Someone once said that “truth is caught, rather than taught.” You might say that God is the most important thing in your life, but your kids will see beneath the surface. They will “catch” what’s really important to you by what you say, by the choices you make with your time and your money, by what you talk about the most, by seeing what gets you most excited, by hearing what you say behind people’s backs. Fathers, where do your priorities lie?

Jesus continues:  “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” When Jesus speaks of God’s kingdom, he is speaking of God’s rule and reign. In other words, God is hallowed in our lives when we allow Him to rule as king in our hearts. God is hallowed in our lives when doing His will takes precedence over doing our will. A father’s name is hallowed because he puts his family first: he lets them know that they are a priority in his life. No matter how busy my father was while I was growing up, he always found time to play catch with me, help me with school projects, take me to drum lessons, coach me in baseball, football, soccer, and basketball, attend every band and choir concert—even though he may have taken a nap during those performances—and be there when I needed him to discuss grocery store discounts. A father sets aside his own agenda to show compassion and love to those around him. His name is hallowed because he makes those around him a priority: he sees them, hears them, and is there for them. Fathers, who or what is a priority in your life?

Second: A father provides for his children. The first word that instructs as fathers is the word “priority”—a word hinted at in verse 9. The second word—provision—is hinted at in the next part of the Lord’s Prayer. Jesus says that when we pray, we should say, “Give us this day our daily bread.” In other words, it’s right for us to expect our heavenly Father to provide for us. That’s his job as our Father! Later in Matthew 6, Jesus says: Don’t worry about what you will eat or drink or wear. Look at the birds of the air. They don’t sow. They don’t gather food into barns. Yet your heavenly Father feeds them. You’re worth so much more than they are!” Do you remember what some of the scriptures said that I read earlier? Psalm 103:13 asserts, “As a father has compassion on his children….”; “Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers” (Proverbs 17:6); “The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him” (Proverbs 20:7). These verses ring true because of the provision that comes along with showing compassion, glory, and integrity.

This kind of provision is what an earthly father is called to do for his family. In fact, earthly fathers are the primary means by which our heavenly Father provides for families. The food doesn’t just appear in the refrigerator! It’s there because the father works. Paul is rather straightforward about this in 1 Timothy 5:8. He writes: “If anyone doesn’t provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he’s denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” If you want to encourage your father today, one of the things you might want to say to him is, “Thanks for working so hard,” or, “Thanks for providing for our family.”

Keep in mind, though, that a father can provide for their family in more ways than financially. A father, just like many other persons, can provide for those that they love by supporting them emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, by simply being present in their life, by being a listening ear, by being a coach on and off the field, by being an instructor and teacher, or by simply offering words of advice. A father provides for the ones that they love by the “giving of daily bread”—not steak, not prime rib, not the most expensive things; but by what is necessary in life at the moment. I can remember, in my early years, my dad taking me to the local bread store early Saturday mornings. We would get loaves of Wonder Bread, mini loaves of bread, Hostess Treats, single sliced pieces of pie, and of course a candy bar to go—usually Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for myself and my dad would get a Pay Day. After trekking through the bread store, we ended up at the local donut shop.

What we did on those days wasn’t anything significant nor did it solve the world’s problems; however, those days changed my life because a busy-hard-working dad provided for me and realized what I needed in life. What I needed at that particular moment was to spend a Saturday morning with my dad. A father provides through the giving of his “daily bread”—his sacrifices, love, and encouragement.

Third: A father pardons his children. The third word concerning fatherhood that our passage hints at is “pardon.” Jesus says, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” As an expression of his love, grace, and mercy, our heavenly Father is a pardoning father, a forgiving father. God understands that a father can provide all the bread in the world for his children, but if he doesn’t provide forgiveness, his children will be emotionally and spiritually malnourished. Of course, this pardoning didn’t come without a great cost. The Father gave his only Son to secure such a pardon. Being a father brings a lot of blessing, a lot of joy, a lot of laughter and fun. But it is also quite costly to be a father. The biggest cost is not financial; it is emotional. Fathers must make an emotional investment in their kids. Kids need affirmation, encouragement, expressions of love. And most of all, kids need to be pardoned, forgiven.

Bill White, a minister in California, was having one of those evenings when everything went wrong. The kids were cranky while he was making dinner, so he gave them some hot chocolate to tide them over. His five-year-old son, Timothy, decided to throw his marshmallows at his little sister, knocking her hot chocolate all over her. As she began screaming, the phone rang and the doorbell rang. He decided to answer both—even with a screaming kid in the background. Probably not the best choice! After dealing with both calls, Bill returned to the kitchen, hollered at Timothy, and promptly had two crying kids on his hands. Exasperated, Bill put his daughter in the bathtub and loudly announced that he was so angry he needed a time-out. He slammed the door shut and tried his best to cool off. He writes: “Everything changed about ten minutes later when I caught sight of a yellow piece of construction paper sliding under the door. In the unsteady hand of a kindergartner was scrawled a message of grace that pierced my heart and turned me around: it read, ‘From Timothy. To Dad. I still love you even when you’re angry.'”

My father is a passive individual. He doesn’t get made too often. He usually keeps to himself and goes to the garage when he is upset. Because of his calm and reserved demeanor, when I knew I did something I wasn’t supposed to do—like borrow his CDs or throw a baseball through the side of our shed or that late night in High School when I got a speeding ticket—I typically, like my other siblings did, went to my dad because I knew the punishment wouldn’t be as severe as it could be from my mom. I still got in trouble, but my dad understood. He knew I was still learning, still growing, and still trying to figure things out. He never stopped loving me even though I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing. If he can love me when I’m not “perfect,” then certainly I can love him when he angry and not “perfect.”

In a father’s pardon is an eternal love that sees through the faults and notices the true character of the child. A father, knowing that life isn’t easy, forgives us of our trespasses as we find ways to forgive those who trespass against us. Fathers, do you know God still loves you even when you’re angry and bitter and selfish? Do you know how much you need forgiveness from God? From your own kids? If you do, let that forgiveness overflow in your own family. Create a culture of pardon in your life.

Fourth: A father protects his children. Priority—a father’s priority is to care for those in his life. Provision—a father must provide for his family. Pardon—a father must create a culture of forgiveness for his family. Our final word is “protection.” A father protects his children. In our passage Jesus says we must come to our Heavenly Father and pray, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” When we pray this, what exactly do we mean? After all, we know we will still experience temptation in this life, and we know we are all touched by evil, and that sin is just around the corner. I don’t think this part of the prayer is about our asking that we never be tempted. This is an emotional plea not to be tempted beyond our capacity to resist. When we pray this, we’re saying, “God, I’m weak. Please keep me from the temptation that will overpower me and cause me to sin. Please don’t leave me alone in the face of temptation that will overwhelm me.” And that’s a prayer God will answer! In 1 Corinthians 10:13, he promises us that “no temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.”

Fathers, in this same manner, your children need you to protect them. This protection is much more than just physical protection, too. Your children need moral and spiritual protection. They need you to be aware of the dangers and evils and temptations that are out there. They need you to be aware of the world in which they live. They won’t always see what is out there in the same way you see it. As fathers, you  need to be willing to be unpopular at times in your homes. You need to be willing to say, “No—I’m not going to allow you to do that. I’m going to protect you instead.”

Of course, there are some fathers who take their role as protector to the extreme. They see this responsibility as an excuse to control and dominate. There was an article in The Wall Street Journal a few years back that contained an expression that is hard to forget: “People want to be lightly governed by strong governments.” I sometimes think that’s the trick for fathers. They need to be strong, but need to govern lightly—with gentleness and tenderness. They need to be like a policeman on the corner: tough enough to handle any neighborhood bully, but gentle enough to hoist a child to his shoulders and help them find their way home. They need fathers with a lot of muscle and a lot of restraint.

Perhaps your children want to be lightly governed by strong fathers because that’s how God governs. The omnipotent—all-powerful0—ruler of the universe is also the one who invites us tenderly: “Come unto me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Joshua 1:9 notes, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

No matter wherever you go, your father, whether physically walking by your side or holding your hand from above, is finding ways to protect you: reminding you to not be afraid nor be dismayed, but to be strong and courageous. Lean weary one upon the comfort of your father. Someone is shining a light upon your path, being a lamp upon your feet, and a rock of refuge in your life. A father finds ways to protect those in his life with hopes of leading them away from evil and temptation and toward the grace and love of God, the Father of all.

Conclusion:

I ask you again, “When I say the word ‘Father’ what do you think about?” Who is your father? Who are the father-like figures in your life? What do you remember about your father that has stuck with you throughout the ages? There are many words that we can use to describe our fathers, but today I encourage you to remember four simple words: priority, provision, pardon, and protection.[1] Jesus taught his disciples how to pray and today we learn how to live out those sacred words that he shared all those years ago. And as we say them, we envision a father, the Father, and witness that the fathers in our life were, are, and forever will be gifts given to us by God, our heavenly Father. The next time you say or hear the Lord’s Prayer, I invite you to think about your father and our heavenly Father.

I challenge you on this Father’s Day to write a note or to say to your father: “Thank you for making me a priority in your life. Thank you for providing for me. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for protecting me. And thank you for loving me yesterday, today, and tomorrow.” A father is worth more than anything we could ever imagine, so let them know that today. Happy Father’s Day!

Let it be so…

 

Closing Prayer:

            Let Us Pray…Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you today for the fathers and father-like figures in our life. We thank you for their lessons, teachings, sacrifices, and wisdom. We thank them for their willingness to make others a priority in their life as they protect, pardon, and provide for them. But most importantly, we give thanks for our father’s love. May you bless all the fathers today and every day, O Lord.  All honor and glory is yours, now and forever, Amen.

 

Benediction:

May all the fathers in our life be reminded today of how much they mean to us and how much we love them. I leave you with the prayer that Jesus taught his disciples: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, go out into the world knowing that you are protected, forgiven, provided for, and seen as a priority by your father and by your children. And all God’s people said, Amen. Amen. Amen.

 

[1] But it must be said—and I’m speaking now to those who are children of all ages—that every earthly father falls short of this ideal in some way, shape, or manner. You may have an earthly father who didn’t even come close to providing for you or pardoning you or protecting you. But I want you to know that you have a heavenly Father who wants to be for you what your earthly father wasn’t. And turning back to those who are fathers, keep in mind that these four things are what you are striving for in your parenting. Priority, provision, pardon, and protection—this is what we mean when we say “father.” It’s not rocket science, but it’s hard work—maybe the hardest work you’ll ever do. But with God as our Father, any father can do it.