Part V – The Art of Wise Living (Proverbs)

Sermon Title: Part V – The Art of Wise Living- “Did I Say That?”

Good News Statement: God refreshes our human words with Wise Words

Wise Words Leads to Wise Living

Preached: Sunday, November 07, 2021 at Dogwood Prairie and Seed Chapel UMC

Pastor Daniel G. Skelton, M.Div.

Scripture (NRSV): James 3:5-10 – Today’s scripture reading comes from the Book of James (ca. 57CE) chapter three verses five thru ten. Listen to the words of the New Testament:

⁵ So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits.

How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! ⁶ And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell. ⁷ For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, ⁸ but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison. ⁹ With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. ¹⁰ From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.

Introduction:

On average, according to worldcounter.net, a person will speak anywhere from 7,000 to 20,000 words a day. Now, according to alexaanswers.amazon.com, on average, women speak 16,215 words per day while men speak only 15,669 words per day. Words are powerful.  Words have the potential to profoundly shape our lives. Words can be hopeful; they can also be harsh causing devastation and ruin. Words are life changing; they offer comfort and strength to a broken heart. Words are perplexing and challenging; they call us to think, to ponder, to react, to respond, and to question what we just heard. Words exist whether we say them aloud, write them down, or keep silent. Words are part of our ever day living. As KushandWizdom once said, “Words are free. It’s how you use them that may cost you.”

Opening Prayer:

            Let us pray… Dear Lord, Jesus, we are not perfect: our actions are not always perfect, our thoughts are not always perfect, and what we say is not always perfect. So Lord help us to become perfect in your image. Help us today to speak wisely, to speak humbly, and to speak with undertones of love and respect. I pray that my words fall to the ground as your words settle in the hearts of all those before me. In your name we pray, Amen.

Body:

Words are important, aren’t they? While growing up, I distinctly remember my grandpa using some pretty colorful language when my father accidently locked my grandpa’s keys in his truck. As a matter a fact, there was a bleep, bleep there and a bleep, bleep over there; there were bleep, bleeps everywhere. Words are important and convey emotion. My oldest brother likes to tell the story of the morning that he came home as my dad was leaving for work. If I remember correctly, my dad said to my brother, “Just remember that there are people counting on you to show up.” Words are important and they leave a lasting impression.

One more little story: My uncle who passed away in March of this year was very knowledgeable and full of humor. Every morning when I went to work, I would visit with him as he sat at his sowing machine. He was normally watching the news and listening to 60’s music. I was expecting to hear something about upholstery or to hear one of his humorous jokes one day. Instead he had something else planned. He looked at me and said, “Daniel, things are not always as they seem.” Words are important and they are impactful and life giving.

You have to be careful with your words, though. Words are not always meaningful or impactful, but sometimes are charged with so much emotion that they can cause harm. In fact, the Bible says in Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Additionally, as we just heard, from the same mouth “come blessing and cursing” (James 3:10). Words of praise and adoration come from the same mouth that uses colorful language and discriminating terms. Given that words are powerful and are important, as wise people how do we use our words to become more wise? How do wise words lead to wise living? How do we use our words to become a better Christian?

James, writing almost a thousand years after the reign of King Solomon (mid-to-late first century CE), highlights the wisdom of Solomon’s proverbs by drawing attention to how powerful and important words are in our life. Expressively, James reiterates what Solomon says in Proverbs 18:21—that death and life are in the power of the tongue. James states, “So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits” (James 3:5). He further states in verse six, “The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell” (James 3:6). While the wild beasts of creation can be tamed, “no one can tame the tongue” (James 3:7-8). How many of you have ever said something in which you wished you never had said at all? How many of you on occasion have been stereotyped as “having a loose tongue”—you have a habit of talking too much? How many of you have said something that has gotten you into trouble? It is a proven fact that although our tongue is small, it can be the loudest thing in the room. As Christians, as followers of Christ, is it better to have a loose tongue or a tongue that can be tamed?

I think both. At times, we are to use our words to draw people towards Christ. If that means having a loose tongue until the other person says, “Okay, okay, I get it. I get it. Jesus loves me even when I falter. Jesus died so that my sins will be forgiven.” We are to use our words wisely so that others know that Jesus loves them for who they are. However, there are times that our words need to remain silent. We are to follow what Solomon proclaims in 17:28 “Even fools who keep silent are considered wise; when they close their lips, they are deemed intelligent.” As a Christian we must learn how to tame our tongue, to remain silent when silence is due, to control our words, to pause and to think before we speak. When we think before we speak we avoid the dangers of having a loose tongue or a tongue that starts fires.

Here are some things to avoid when learning to speak like a Christian:

• Name-calling. I’m sure most of us have called either our siblings or our friends by names other than their actual name. I’m sure some of us have been called by other names. I don’t mean that you were called by your siblings’ name or by your pets’ name while growing up. Whether you said the name or you were called a certain name, what I mean is that at some point you have labeled or been labeled by a name that ignites negative emotions in your heart. What someone called you does not reflect who you actually are. Proverbs 22:1 states, “A good name is to be chosen…” As Christians, if we want to live wisely, we must avoid the urge to use name-calling—to use a bad name—to express our anger or frustration. We must realize that the same mouth that curses our neighbor is the same mouth that blesses our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ (James 3:8-10). A good name is chosen, but a bad name must not be heard. (Turn to your neighbor and say, “I love you.”)
• Using harsh words. Proverbs 11:9 asserts, “With their mouths the godless would destroy their neighbors…” In the heat of an argument things are said: harsh words are expressed and passed back and forth as if they are engaged in a tennis match. In moments like this, we often find ourselves responding quickly rather than conservatively; therefore, putting ourselves in more trouble than what we intended. At this point we need to pause and remember the words of James who said, “You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19, Proverbs 14:29). How many of you have heard that it is better to think before you speak but have forgotten that principle a time or two? As Christians, we must not be too eager to express our emotions. We must pause. We must think. We must be quick to listen and slow to speak. We must avoid using harsh words to express our emotions and instead use language of love and comfort to show our understanding and wisdom. (At this point, turn to your neighbor and say, “I’m sorry.”)
• Lying. I have told many lies in my life. I have said lies that are hurtful. I have said lies that back fire. I have said lies to cover up for other people. Whether you acknowledge it or not, you have all lied at some point in your life. Maybe you told a lie to get out of doing something or told a lie in order to do something. Maybe you told a lie that you regret saying in the first place. Whether you say a small lie or a large lie, a lie is a lie. I’m sorry to say this, but even a “white lie” is still considered a lie. We are reminded in Proverbs 14:25 that “A truthful witness saves lives, but one who utters lies is a betrayer.” As Christians, it is our duty to speak the truth so that lives will be saved and led to Christ. It is not our responsibility to betray or even judge our neighbors. We must say as George Washington bravely said after damaging his father’s cherry tree, “I cannot tell a lie.” Or for you Harry Potter fans, “I must not tell lies.” Instead, we must be truthful. (Turn to your neighbor and say, “you are my truth.”)
• Bragging. We are reminded in Proverbs 27:2 that we are not to praise ourselves. Instead we are to allow a stranger to give us praise. It’s one thing to give yourself a pad on the back, but it sends a deeper, more lasting, message when someone says, “You did a great job today! You are awesome!” Don’t boast about your own achievements. As Christians, we are here to lift others up, to encourage them, to provide them with motivation to not give up. We are not here to criticize (Ephesians 4:29) others or to judge them or to curse them. We are not here to cheer “Anything you can do, I can do better.” We are not here to boast or brag about ourselves. As Christians, we are here to tell someone else that they are awesome; that they are needed to complete God’s Kingdom here on earth; and that they are loved. (Turn to your neighbor and say, “You are awesome!”)
• Being ungrateful. Lastly, as Christians, we are to use our words to give continual praise and thanksgiving to the one who reminds us to be “slow of speech and slow of tongue” (Exodus 4:10). 1 Thessalonians 5:18 reads, “[G]ive thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Don’t be afraid to say thank you. Don’t be afraid to give praise or adoration. Don’t be afraid to express an emotion of thanksgiving. Don’t be afraid to bestow grace upon someone. If you are afraid to show your appreciation to God or even to your family and friends, then you are being ungrateful to the One who upholds you by his “victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). Be grateful for all that the Lord has done, is doing, and will do for you. It’s never too late to use your words to say thank you. (Turn to your neighbor and say “thank you.”)

Conclusion:

In order to avoid name calling, using harsh words,  lying, bragging, or being ungrateful, we are to “pause,” restrain, give life, and check our own hearts with the words we use. (Proverbs 29:20). We need to pause. We need to be careful to pause before we speak to give God a chance to intercede. Somewhere between the action and reaction there is a span of time. And the longer that span of time is, the more opportunity God has to change how we choose to respond.

We must restrain our words (Proverbs 10:19). Sometimes, the more we speak, the greater the likelihood that we will say something we shouldn’t say. The more you say, the more trouble you get into. Have you ever said something that you wish you could retract?

We must give life with our words. The truth is, we can do a lot of really good things with our words. We can tell someone that we love them. We can encourage someone and tell them that we believe in them. We can affirm someone. We can thank someone. We can remind someone that they are needed, that others are waiting for them. Most importantly, we can point them to eternal life (Romans 10:13- 15). This week, every single one of us is going to have an opportunity to speak a life-giving word. To bear witness to a friend or co-worker who doesn’t know God. We will have an opportunity to tell them how God has helped us in our own lives, and we don’t have to know a lot to share what we already know! That God loves us for who we are and that God loves them.

We must check our own hearts (Luke 6:45). James tells us that no one can control their tongue. This is a message about allowing God to change our heart because if God changes our heart, it changes our tongue. Friends, name-calling, using harsh words, lying, bragging, and being ungrateful are all issues of the heart. And when God changes our heart, when we say “Lord, forgive me,” he comes and takes up residence in our lives and begins to change our hearts. And when our heart changes, it changes our speech. Many of us have called upon God to save us, and he has begun the process of changing our life. Let’s ask him to continue that good work in us today! Let us know that we can tame our tongue with God by our side. As Christians, as we change our speech, we change our hearts. I know you are all capable of saying good things because I heard you. But are you ready to change your heart? (With your eyes closed, say, “Lord, forgive me.”)

Benediction:

This week, I encourage you to choose your words carefully and wisely because words are powerful. Avoid name-calling, using harsh words, lying, bragging, and being ungrateful. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. By doing so, you will be one step closer to realizing that Wise words lead to Wise living. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, go in peace as you live wisely and well in God’s world. Amen.